Posted by: sternenfeeinflorida | 10 March 2009

What I’m looking for in a man

Alright, a few blog posts back I promised I would write about what I’m looking for in a man and I guess, here it is. I’m sure you’re all thinking the same thing: He has to be handsome, muscular, able to replace a light bulb and be (what all women dream of) a good listener and very caring.

I won’t deny that those are all admirable traits but let’s be realistic here… Handsome is still a term that’s very much up for discussion. I prefer attraction to plain looks. There has to be something about him that absolutely draws me to him. I met this guy once and he had that kind of body I had always longed for in a man only to realize that I didn’t really like it. He did look like one of the poster guys with six-pack abs but I just wasn’t attracted to him. That was one of the many eye-openers I had throughout my dating life.

I think the most important trait my perfect man has to have is the ability to put up with me, accept me for who I am and give me the freedom I need to flourish. I would like to meet someone who has about as many different interests as I do, who will drag me out to see something neither one of us has seen yet or just sit at home and read a good book. I want to be able to constantly broaden my intellectual horizon with him.

Same interests are always the foundation of a good relationship and communication is the key. Same interests is pretty easy in my case, there are only a few things I’m really not into, everything else has to at least be tried. I wish I could find someone who thinks the same way, someone who walks through life about as wide-eyed as I do and finds pleasure in the many little things life has to offer.

After the last relationship that was called my marriage, I decided not to accept certain things anymore. First of all, I need someone who works the same hours as I do. I’m sorry but I didn’t get married only to spend my days by myself, including the weekends. That’s just not what I had signed up for. So either we work the same hours or the relationship can only be casual. At the same time I’m not sure I would want to live with him. The last time has proven this to be very stressful for me and I’m certainly not eager to repeat that. In the event that I should get married again (very doubtful at the moment) I will not ever change my name again. I like my maiden name, always have and it’ll stay mine until I die as soon as I get it back.

I would like a man I can sit on the couch with and just talk, no TV. I would like someone I can go to the movies with or the theater. He’d have to like both, have a passion for a good play and as well as a good movie. I’d like to meet someone who matches my passion for art and sports, someone who likes going to a classical concert or opera just as much as going to a rock concert, someone who is as excited about going to a ballgame as he is about going to an art exhibit. Someone who’s interested in what’s going on in the world and is open to new ideas.

He’d have to be a good cook, too, and like it. I enjoy cooking and trying out new recipes but I don’t want to be the only one always being in the kitchen preparing meals. I’d like for him to cook for me, too, know what he’s doing and find pleasure in cooking. He’d also have to know how to grill a killer steak.

He also needs to be able to fix things. Granted, I can fix a lot of things myself, am pretty good with power tools and just generally know how to do things. That doesn’t mean though, that I should be the one taking care of everything from changing a light bulb or the air conditioner filter to unclog a drain or assemble furniture. He’d need to know how to light a fire in a fireplace or a campfire, how to clean and filet fish.

Am I unreasonable? I don’t know but I don’t think so. Sure, I’m asking for a lot of things but those are all things I found out to be important as I was trying different men.



  1. Doing this post was a really good idea. Look how handy in came in for you later! I might do one something like this on mine. Hmm. PS. I think you found him. đŸ˜‰

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: