Posted by: sternenfeeinflorida | 28 December 2009

When I die…

Ok, before I pick that though up again I feel it may be necessary to let you know that I don’t plan on dying any time soon. But this is something out of my control and I’d rather tell you about it while I still can. Because once I’m dead, well, there won’t be much talking or blogging on my part anymore… I don’t think.

So, when I die, I’d hate for people to cry that I’m gone. Seriously, I’m not that important. Just one of over 6 billion people on this planet. People die every day for the most various reasons. I will be one of them, sometime, it’s a fact. I don’t know when I will die or what may be the cause of my death but it will happen and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Once I’m dead, I don’t much care what happens to my body either, just one thing, don’t put me in a grave and feel obligated to take care of it and bring flowers and stuff. Seriously, remember me as the living person I once was, with all my faults. I would much rather that my ashes are spread over the ocean, now that would be cool. Or if you’d like to put my ashes in an urn that is mailed from friend to friend, that’s fine with me, too. Quite honestly, I really liked how the main character of The Perfume ended up, although this may be a little dramatic and unrealistic. If you haven’t seen the movie or read the book (both are excellent), I dare you to do it.

I would like you to know that when I die, I will have lived the best life I was able to live. I will have had many ups and downs in my life but I will never have given up. Giving up is not in my nature. I may lay on the ground and wallow in self-pity for a while, but that’s only because I need a new game plan. I will have always stood true to my values and beliefs.

When I die, I know I will have disappointed many of you. Trust me, I didn’t do it on purpose; at some point our lives just separated and continued on in different directions. I’m following my path and you have to follow yours. Rest assured, I enjoyed the time we spent together. Sometimes I mourn the loss of friends in my life but at the same time I know that we weren’t able to continue down the same road. We walked down the same road for a while, made some experiences together and I cherish what I learned from them. I know that some people thought I could or would improve their lives or that of their sons. Well, I tried my best and I hope to have made a difference. I can only take so much trouble before I have to move on.

I can honestly say that everyone I have met so far during my lifetime has had an impact on me. You have shaped and influenced my life far more than you might imagine. You may just have brushed my life but you may have said or done something that will always stay with me and influence my life. I strive on those memories, good and bad, as they are all valuable to me. They deeply influence how I have lived my life so far.

I just hope that this life will have been good enough to get me another life, maybe one in which my body doesn’t hate me so much but I know it will still be filled with challenges. The challenges will be different, I’m sure but I’m looking forward to it. I doubt I will be able to tell you about it but if I am, I hope it will be something like: “Remember during our last life, when…?” Now that would be fun!

Therefore, when I die, don’t be sad, remember me as I was when I was alive and say “See you in the next life!”



  1. IS VERY GOOD ........................................

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