Posted by: sternenfeeinflorida | 17 January 2010


A couple of days ago I got divorced. It’s been a long process and I’m glad it has finally come to an end. For some reason I thought I would feel different. Relieved, happy or something like that. Instead, I was very nervous when I was in the courtroom and went back to feeling normal but very tired afterward. But on the other hand, maybe it’s a good thing, I didn’t feel different.

After all, nobody gets married to get divorced. At least nobody I have ever heard of. I certainly didn’t plan on it. When I got married, I thought this is it. The man I’m getting married to, is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I probably could have done just that. But I wouldn’t have been happy. I spent most of my marriage by myself as we were working different schedules. That may work if you have been married for decades but it doesn’t really work if you are just starting your adult life. Sure, I don’t mind being by myself, I need it, too, but not 350 days of the year. Waking up alone, breakfast alone, coming home to an empty apartment, going to bed alone. That just wasn’t it for me. It was much like being single but without the opportunity to meet someone new. Eventually, I had to call it quits.

My ex isn’t a bad man, he just wasn’t right for me. I’m sure that even he will realize it some day and I know he will find someone else, someone who is more compatible. Maybe he will even get married again. I hope he will find happiness.

I have learned a lot throughout this marriage, my earlier blog posts prove this, too. I will likely not get married again unless I have been in the same relationship for a long time and there is a financial advantage. I will certainly never change my name again. It is such a hassle to have the name changed on all important documents that it’s really not worth to ever change it to anything from the name you were born with. Unless, of course, your last name was horrible and your married name is much better.

I have started my new life and once the paperwork is done and I have my name back everywhere, I will have yet another reason to enjoy it. I have a wonderful boyfriend and we are creating a future together. I know that my family will support me whatever I decide to do, as they have in the past. I have realized that I am responsible for my own happiness. Life, although challenging sometimes, is good to me.



  1. After all this waiting and now I find out you are taken.

  2. (@LC_Sun) I'm getting in line 3rd…And yes, when things you've anticipated, both good and bad, finally happen, they are never as you had imagined, and your reactions and feelings in the moment are never what you expected, and even planned for. Be well as you step forward, Sunje!

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