Posted by: sternenfeeinflorida | 15 February 2010

Really random thoughts

So, this morning while I’m having my breakfast and looking through my email, I find an email from my ex. Apparently he still believes that Facebook is responsible for our breakup. Well, it is not. Sure, Facebook allowed me to go meet other people,which I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done otherwise. But actually meeting someone I had met in Facebook was only another step to finding out what I really wanted. Getting out, meeting new people helped me to decide what had been brewing for a while. I needed to get out. 7 years of being in a relationship, married even, but alone most of the time was enough. I was more single than married but out of my commitment, I spent most of that time home… alone. He can blame Facebook all he wants, but really he should blame Tools To Life. The Tools To Life program helped me realize that I had to reclaim my life.

At the same time, today’s events reminded me of a story I heard about on the news today. I cannot even begin to list the things that were wrong with this story. Sure, pre-loading suggestive text messages onto cell phones before they are sold may not be the best idea but quite honestly, this was the last thing that worried me about this poor guy’s relationship. Honesty and openness must not have been the primary components of said relationship. Never would I even think about looking through my boy-friend’s or husband’s cell phone to see what he’s up to. He either tells me, or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, it’s none of my business anyway. I trust him to tell me what I need to know. Also, I think his girl-friend way overreacted saying I have all the proof I need, I am breaking up with you and throwing you out. What a bitch! If she was in a loving and trusting relationship, she would believe him if he said he didn’t receive any text messages and didn’t know who sent them. When I heard the story, I thought those people must have been in their early 20’s, now imagine my shock when I saw the guy was 49 yrs old! Don’t some people ever grow up? Don’t these people have life experiences that tell them a breakup over bogus text messages is blowing the issue way out of proportions?

Oh, and I almost forgot: Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. One of the things a lot of people don’t think about when in a new relationship is to ask what the expectations are. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I’d rather love my boy-friend 365 days a year than on this one day and show my affection whenever I feel like it and not when the calendar mandates. Thankfully, he feels the same and we were able to avoid the whole Valentine’s Day mess. I was therefore quite surprised when I saw the message he left on my Facebook page after I went to bed last night. I think it was the sweetest and most unexpected gift I had ever gotten. To me, while the feeling is mutual and understood, a spoken “I love you” is cherished a lot more when it is used sporadically.



  1. Great post! Honesty, communication and trust are so vital in any relationship.

    I woke up to my husband quietly going through my msn history, which I’d have shown him if he asked – I was shocked to say the least. It was the last straw for me. That kind of mistrust cannot be undone.

    Glad you had a good Velntines – And now, I am off to check out this message on your facebook =)

  2. That’s so sweet. There’s a right person for everyone.

  3. Nice post. I agree about the calendar thing. Sporadically showing love here and there mean a lot 365. I’m glad I jumped over here from twitter to read it. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  4. Great post.

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