Posted by: sternenfeeinflorida | 6 December 2010

Changes

The past weeks have been so filled with activity that I never had the time to write down everything that’s been occupying my mind. Today I may actually get to write down some of those things.

A week from today I will have achieved something I have never done before. I will finish my last class before I graduate with an Associate of Arts degree in Visual Communication. Although this is only the halfway point to the Bachelor of Arts degree in Visual Communication, this is already a huge milestone. I will be a college graduate and the courses have shown me that this was the right decision. Next up will be the search for a job in my new chosen field.

But these past 21 months have been challenging as well and I am not sure that I could have done as well as I did without my boy-friend. He has always been there for me. Regardless of whether I needed advice, an adverse opinion or a lightning rod when I was very frustrated and needed to vent. I’m fully aware that I’m not easy to be around when I’m frustrated, when even the simplest things don’t make sense to me, when something that should work, doesn’t. I know he always just wanted to help me and I have yet to find out how he could possibly do that. There are times when all I see is the mountain of work ahead of me and the deadline looming. This is when I feel that nothing and nobody can possibly help me. Although I know I should take a break, clear my head, it is still very difficult for me to do. Because of all this and the endless patience and support, I’m endlessly thankful to have him in my life. I’d like to thank him for being there for me and apologize for the countless times I snapped at him without good reason except overwhelming frustration.

At the same time, I am finally at a weight that is acceptable to me. For maybe the first time in my life I am largely happy with the way I look. I can accept the image I see in the mirror. Other people may say I’m too thin or I don’t look god but who cares what others say? I like myself. For probably the first time in my life.
Now I have to go through my closet and give away any and all clothes that don’t fit me anymore. Anyone who ever had to lose weight knows how important it is to not leave anything behind “just in case.”

After this week I will get a small break, a break I would like to use not only to relax but also to prepare myself for the things ahead. Once the new year starts, more changes need to happen. I need to find a better job in the city I would like to live in. I would like to consolidate my household with my boy-friend’s and provide our bunny with a better place to live.

I’m excited and I’m looking forward to the things ahead.

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Responses

  1. Congratulations for being so close to you AA. Great job! You should definitely pad yourself on the back.

    Also good luck to your new goals. May all your wishes come true for you in the new year.

    Alles Gute, und eine herrliche Weihnachtszeit
    wündsch ich Dir aus Oregon.

    HD

    P.S.: When is your trip to the old country?


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